Life

Empty is my life, why did I waste 18 years of my life? What do I have to show of my life? Scrolling through the list of majors here, I come to realize that none of them are for me, but then what do you do? It is hard when you aren't good at anything or have any inerests to fall back on. I wish it was clearer. My life has just been one big lie, one big act. Well the curtains have fell and the show is over. I wish my life had more direction. I wish that someone could just evaulate my life and give me a list of different careers to look into. The sad part is that no one understands because I was stupid enough not to let anyone into my life. Maybe I just dream too big, I mean I guess opera singer, Broadway actor, a Rockette, or a famous actress are just that....dreams....and can never be more then that. My old minister suggested getting into the ministry, and for a while when I was younger, I considered it. I used to sit in the balcony when the sactuary was empty and would just imagine having my own congeration, them holding on to my every word. I always wondered how minsters know how to say the right thing at the right time. When they say a prayer, how do they know what to say? Does it just come to them? Maybe I am just too complicated of a person. Why is life so hard to figure out...