300th? Woot woot! =)

I think I know why I was sorta in a bumming mood yesterday. I love the holidays but this year will be hard. It just hit me that my Grandpa who sat by me at EVERY Thanksgiving since I was born is not going to be there. That chair is going to be empty. At Christmas, who will I sit by? I was Grandpa's little sugar. Who is going to gossip about the food or the people at the other end of the table with me? I can't even think about without bursting into tears. Like I am right now. How is my Grandma going to get through it? Or my mom. Her father is gone forever. He was wearing the watch I bought for him. He loved watches. He is not going to be at my wedding, or see my children. I haven't talked about this out loud to anyone whose not in my family, but it would be easier than someone in my family. I didn't think it would be this hard. When Nana died I was devasted but I didn't cry because I wanted to be strong for everyone else. I'm never going to have her cookies again.